hi forum!! my angel hare story

there's a whole group of people who remember angel hare?? wow, okay, i thought i was the only one? i DEFINITELY have to talk here. i do tend to ramble so full disclosure beforehand, and this is raw thoughts but uh yeah. and just ignore my user, that's my personal email name i can't change it. hi angel hare community! i'm mouse. here's my story.

ok ok so context, i was raised a pk (pastor's kid). my old man preached for a really small and old church, the kind that had at most 20 members. i was the only kid there, but i did get pampered by a lot of elderly folks, hehe. there was a table out in the foyer that had a bunch of stuff people could borrow, like sermon tapes, c.s. lewis commentaries, and ofc, vhs tapes. now, my dad didn't go out and buy things to leave on this table, he pulled them out of the church archives which had been bought by whoever ran the church before he came along. so i can't ask him where he got anything from, just a disclaimer.

this was the mid 2000s so dvds and cds were really common, but my family still had a vhs player. my dad let me have full reign of the church's veggietales collection to borrow, so i didn't think much of the angel hare tape sitting on that foyer table until one sunday, on a whim, i decided to take it home and see what it was.

to be honest i don't know what i was expecting when i put that tape in. i was five, i'd been learning about substitutionary atonement all morning, and naturally my brain was super worn out. something about seeing gabby for the first time was so... soothing. this may sound a lil weird but it felt like the children's church i'd never had-- led by a girl no less, that was so cool to think about-- and i didn't have to wear a stiff dress or anything to be a part of it. I could just sit in the middle of my floor in sweatpants and spend time in another world for a while.

i checked out that tape a good few times, although it was so short. (easily one of the only cons of the series amirite?) i dug through the church's storage closet (without permission, heh) to see if there were any more episodes, but couldn't find any. none of the older folks at the church had heard of angel hare either, and i asked all of them. i sorta gave up on finding gabby and francis eventually, especially having restricted internet access pretty much my entire childhood which would have made it impossible to research. forgot about them completely until last night.

my family just moved recently because my parents felt god calling them to start a new church plant way out in the country. we've moved a lot over the years. i've had to leave a lot behind each time we moved, including my faith. i've been through a lot of hard stuff and i don't wanna get into all of it here. i don't wanna make this a vent or anything because it really isn't, it's a happy story.

finally done with context. i ramble too much, again, i know. it's hard to summarize.

so i was just randomly flipping through channels right? there's this one station called giggle or something that broadcasts a lot of christian kids shows. it's been running since i was small, and i may not be religious anymore but it's still got some neat stuff. well, they decided to randomly broadcast angel hare. i've never seen angel hare on that channel before, much less in such high quality. no static or fuzz or anything. maybe they had a master version. as you can imagine memories came flooding back. it was a little eerie, being alone in the farmhouse (my dad and mom were busy doing church stuff) but i couldn't look away.

the episode started as normal. when angel gabby asks the viewer their name, i decided to answer aloud. i'm a grown adult and i don't usually interact with those kinds of things but for some reason i did. i don't know if anyone will believe me but gabby looked at the screen- no, at me, for at least ten seconds. her eyes scanned up and down as if she could look through the fourth wall, and i almost thought about switching the whole tv off until just as suddenly she stopped. and smiled. such a genuine smile, i didn't have room to be scared anymore.

"mouse, that's a beautiful name," she said. "i agree, 'elizabeth' isn't quite the right name for you. i'm so glad you're here again, after so long."

i suspended my disbelief. we talked for at least an hour, i can't remember what all about. she remembered my five-year-old self and filled in the gaps where i'd forgotten our adventures and imaginary playdates. francis wasn't as chatty as i expected but he did say hi too. i had so many questions, most neither of them could answer.

i do remember that gabby told me god made me the person i am on purpose, that expression and orientation aren't sins but blessings. i appreciated it, but replied i didn't believe in god anymore. she said i was enough as i am, that my parents were in the wrong to make me feel lesser than beautiful. she spoke to me like i was a child in need of love. and i guess i am.

it's the next morning. i slept in the living room overnight, somehow?? i'm going to check the giggle station later at the same time as yesterday to see if she comes back. i thnk there's something going on with angel hare. there's more to it than we know. or idk maybe i just dreamed it and this is all a giant case of deja vu, hehe. still kinda in shock.